Plan B

Plan B, the back up plan to Plan A. I'm realizing that most of life we spend working on a plan and only occassionally do we have a Plan B. For a lot of people (myself included) there is a huge motivator in making Plan A work--an overwhelming fear of failure. For the most part I don't usually have a back up plan. But recently, there's a dissatisfaction in the pit of my stomach that makes me think that Plan A isn't where I want to be anymore. I suck at pinpointing these gut feelings.

Maybe it's professional--I've already been burned out on Architecture twice. The first time I ended up getting a History Minor and a Japanese Minor. The second time I ended up getting an MBA and doing the dot-com thing. While historically my attention span has cycles of 18-24 months, when you actually START the company and OWN the company and ARE the boss, it's rather hard to quit and try something else. In the first place, you have obligations to your partner and your employees. In the second place, you need to have an idea of what you want to do next. I'm restless. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

Maybe it's social--I've been out of any kind of relationship for several years. My married friends are fully suburban, and my single friends have almost all moved away or are now part of the married group and dropped off the planet. Sometimes I feel really lonely so maybe I need to find a new social outlet.

Maybe it's the house--I'm ready to actually FINISH a project! I finally have the wood for the rest of the deck. Maybe if I can actually mark a renovation project off my to-do list--there will be a sense of accomplishment and the restlessness will go away?

I just hate this feeling in the pit of my stomach, and not knowing what it is or how to fix it.
....or maybe it was just bad chinese food?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I've changed my mind like 4 times already and I am only 28. The good thing is that we are young and we can do that and there is nothing wrong with that. You think one day I really love this and then the next day I really hate this. Real Estate is an emotional love affair and its one lover that rarely gives anything back in return except for a smiling and exciting face when we finally do something right! lol

Being burned out I know it sucks. I am burned out on school.I can't stand the I don't give a shit kids that I have in my classes. I know in the end it will be worth it cause I will be doing something I love. Plus I'll be making more than the snot nose kids anyway cause you know it takes maturity to make it in this business. I have no plan B. At this point in my life I don't care for a Plan B. I have my writing if I wanna go back to it. Maybe I am done with it, maybe it's done with with, and I still have my painting, but my point to it all this is it really doesn't matter. Do what makes you happy and when it does make you happy anymore find something that does. Having Plans is great but sometimes it just doesn't help. Sometimes you have to act on your gut instinct. I am right there with you a well.My friends are all married. Heck even my class mates from High school are all married with Children. You will figure it out. It just takes time. One day it will hit but why fret about it till it does? ---Jonathan