8/19/2008

I had the weirdest dream...

...so I just woke up from the most bizarre dream and had to write it down while I could still remember it. To give you some background (and probably what triggered the dream), I got an e-mail on facebook 3 or 4 days ago from a girl named Mary. Mary and I dated in college. She was the first person I ever said 'I love you' to, and she turned my world on edge for about a year and a half after she came back from a trip to Argentina and didn't still share all my adolescent emotions.

The dream:
I was on the OSU campus for something. Not sure if it was a football game or something, but I'm walking around looking at buildings etc. and then Mary is walking by and gives me a hug and she says she's here for something and asks me to walk with her so we can catch up. So I'm walking with her, and then, as we're walking, there are more and more people walking towards some big arena like everyone is going to a basketball game or a graduation ceremony. I see in the crowds walking some people I know (like Niki from L.A.), but instead of saying HI, I keep following Mary.
She's not slowing down, she just keeps walking and moving forward. By now she's 2 or 3 people ahead of me on the sidewalk--keeps turning around and motioning me to follow her, so I do. Then I look and crossing the road is my entire High School class from Frederick, people I haven't seen in years (Moncia, Brandi, Ben, Bryan, Jed, Andra, etc)... so I try to say HI and visit, but now Mary is 15-20 people ahead of me on the sidewalk, motioning me to hurry up and catch up with her. Then out of no where this incredibly hot guy who looks like Jay Mohr (my t.v. crush for the last 10 years) runs up to me, grabs my hand in a handshake, and say's "Brian! it's me Mat" (I don't know why, but it's Mat with one 't') and I realize this is my dream guy, my prince charming. He's got tousled brown hair and is wearing a nice leather jacket and khakis.  He has this incredible smile, and he's talking to me like we're old roommates from some summer camp we went to when we were both kids. He has this really firm grip that is still embracing my hand when I say, "walk with me, I'm chasing that girl" and point to Mary in her baby blue sun dress, who is now 30 people ahead of me on the sidewalk. Then she turns and goes in this gate to a court yard. Mat and I get to the gate and across from the courtyard I can see the door shutting into the building that Mary has gone in. I'm explaining to Mat that this is Mary, the first person I fell in love with, then mid sentence I realize this is stupid--why am I chasing her, I'm gay, and I say that out loud--but I still have this incredibly strong urge to follow her into the building before she gets away. And I'm standing at the courtyard entrance with this guy Mat--still holding his hand from the handshake, and I feel like I have to make a decision to either go through the door and keep trying to follow Mary, or to stay with Mat, who I don't recognize yet, but who I have this feeling in my stomach I know already like my soulmate. --then I wake up.


Please discuss...

6 comments:

dan said...

you went back to a comfortable place, that feeling of giving your heart to someone, so strong and has a left a mark that was brought right back up ( i bet those are some beautiful love letters btw), but now you want that with a guy right? and then the hs friends, well that is a comfort feeling of seemingly easier more optimistic times. i don't know, that's just my discussion, I always get all sentimental if hs buds come up in dreams. when I first stared teaching back at my highschool a few years ago, being back in that place suddenly had me dreaming of highschool and with my hs friends but then all my college buds were there too. so strange.
so mat with one t... ? hmmm

Brian McLaren said...

Yeah, Mat with one T... you know of any? ... that look like Jay Mohr?

Anonymous said...

Hmm, I'm kinda' leaning on the side of what your friend Dan said. Like maybe your life is about to take a major turn, and your soul is trying to let you know that it's okay to let go of the past, b/c something painful was associated w/ something comfortable, i.e., Mary walking away and the HS friends being present.

VERY interesting dream Brian, kudos to you for writing it down, that was involved! I heard somewhere that the avg dream lasts only 3 seconds! You crammed a lot in that 3 seconds! :)

Anonymous said...

BTW, is that Mary in that photograph? Cuz if so, she's BEAUTIFUL!

OMG, I was thinking, "Are you sure you wanna' be gay? Cuz she's HOT!" lol

;)

Brian McLaren said...

Update... 17 months ago, I met Matt (two "t's", but still!?!). He's rocked my world and 17 months into it, I can't believe the providence that has blessed me.

Coincidently, after we met the first time, he got a fortune cookie at a chinese restaurant that read "an unexpected relationship will become permenant."

How cool is that?

Shwetablog said...

grt